i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
