I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize