You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
