My hand turned me down
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
