did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
