Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Vodka?
Forever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize