dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
