He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
