1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
