Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
