is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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