Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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