I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
