Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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