He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
