you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
