Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
