it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
