Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
