I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
