I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
