Little spoons don't ask big questions
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
