Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
