He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize