i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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