Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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