i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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