Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
