Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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