there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
