handjob tips. give me some.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
