Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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