return my video game
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
