Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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