so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize