a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
