Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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