So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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