it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
