My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
