Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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