You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
