Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
