Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
