I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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