so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
