well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sober January is a disaster.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
