Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
