I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
