is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
