my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
