so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize