Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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