Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
