i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You are a booty call, not a friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
