i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think my tv is drunk
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
