You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
