Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
