Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
