Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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