he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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