I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
