someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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